• Kevin Luke

Fear and the Ego

I've learned that fear limits you and your vision. It serves as blinders to what may be just a few steps down the road for you. The journey is valuable, but believing in your talents, your abilities, and your self-worth can empower you to walk down an even brighter path. Transforming fear into freedom - how great is that?

Soledad O'Brien

On January 31, 2019, I think it was around 1:00 or 1:30 in the morning, I had been fast asleep, then all of a sudden I was wide awake. My heart was racing, I was all sweaty, all kinds of thoughts were running through my head , I had no idea what was going on, I had an intense fear!

I was having a panic attack!

I never get panic attacks, why was I having this?

What was I pannicing about?

Why was in so much fear?

Nothing had happened or had changed in the days or weeks leading up to this I was even sleeping what was going on!!

I was having thoughts and had fears of loved ones passing away running through my head, fears about my children. Financial fears. Fears about the future. Fears of homelessness. It was just a hodgepodge of thoughts and fears.

But Why?

Nothing had really changed in my life that would make any of those fears come to the surface in a way that would cause me so much discomfort. There had to be something else, some other fear, something lurking in the deepest, darkest recesses of my mind, my subconscious, that was causing me so much fear.

What is fear, and why do we have fears?

Fear, is part of the fight or flight response in our brain, that has evolved to protect us from dangers or death. Early on if we spotted a stalking lions, an angry rhinoceros or a rival tribe, with spears in hand, we could be ready to either stand our ground and fight or just run for our lives. Fear gets adrenaline running through our brains and body, and can give us energy that we normally don’t have.

These are the types of responses that fear was meant to be used for. Fear is a good thing when used in the right way.

The problem is that in today’s society we don’t often meet hungry animals eyeing us up as dinner, so in our day to day lives fear and having to fight or flight is not a big need today.

We have this whole system in our brains that was designed to help us; to protect us. We have these glands all set to produce chemicals, neurotransmitters, and adrenaline to get our muscles moving and strength to run or to fight, to warn us to keep us from danger. Now the Majority of the time, they just sit around with nothing to do. We have this whole intricate system in our body sitting around bored.

What do you do when you are bored?

Sometimes we can find so productive to do, clean the house, repair something, or go and help someone. We also can get exercise and release some of that extra energy in our system. Maybe we can read a blog or hire a life coach, who will help us with productive activities to better ourselves.

Or we can sit on social media or watch videos or maybe go to Amazon and see what the have that we can use. Maybe click on the link I’m providing, check things out I’m sure you will find something nice at a great price. Browse the whole site not just what I have advertised here.

Sometimes we jut get ourselves into trouble, cause little problems here or there. We can cause arguments, aggravate a situation or on the extreme, harm others or things.

Well, our brains does the same thing with fear. It’s there, it has to keep it sharp, in the event it’s needed, so it finds a use for it. It can be productive at times, for examplekeeping us from touching the hot stove.

Since, we don’t have that many major fears or dangers in our live, our brains get into “trouble “ so to speak, by manufacturing fears, where none exist except in our own mind. This is fear of the unknown!

So what is it that you fear? Spiders, snakes, and things that go bump in the night? Maybe it is the fear that something is going to happen, something that may or may not hurt you or someone close to you. Those are all pretty basic fears that we all have, from time to time.

The question is, what is the reason for those fears. Yes if you think you are going to lose your job, there is s good reason to fear financial hardships. Or is a loved one is sick, or often puts themselves in danger there is a reason to fear the loss of a loved one.

Lets go a little deeper, in many cases those and other reasons don’t exist that would cause such fears to come to the surface, but yet they do!

Much like me with my panic attack, there was no real reason why all those fears and emotions should have been running through my head and woken me up at 1:00 am.

Maybe it was because those fears were not the problem? There was something else that was bothering me, or that my ego thought should bother me, and those things, all the thoughts and fears I was having, were just the manifestation of that underlying master fear.

It could have been many things, deeper things, such as the fear of losing yourself, who you are, by going into a deep love relationship with another. See my blog on relationships,

Maybe the broader fear of change in itself? Either a huge, fundamental change in yourself or even small changes in who you are and how you think, can be a major red flag to our egos, and cause them to react with a fear response.

It is the fear of change, the fear of the unknown. Your ego knows what it knows and it will protect what it knows at all cost! The problem comes in is when, more often than not, what the ego knows is limited. The ego doesn’t know if the information coming in is good or c bad, if the changes that you feel that you need to make, or that giving yourself so much to someone you love is good for you or something that you should do or not do?

Picture it this way, the ego is like a big guard dog in your house. This is good if someone comes into your house to rob you or hurt you. The dog will be right there to protect you and your belongings. What if a friend comes in that the dog doesn’t know, if there is a bit of excitement in the house the dog could think this person is there to do harm and attack.

When my children were young, we had a Yellow Lab, and an American Bulldog. Sometimes when we were playing and roughhousing with my boys, the dogs would get excited, of course, and even as the kids played and screamed, the bulldog would think that they were being hurt, he had no concept that they were playing. He did not know what to do, he could not attack any of us, but he felt someone was in trouble, so he would go after the Yellow Lab that was just standing there taking it all in. He would not hurt the Lab , just kind of nip at him. He just felt like he had to protect, so he protected. He did not know any better he just did it.

The same goes for the ego, it just knows what it knows, it is just trying to protect us, even if it harms us in the long run.

The ego will throw all kinds of fears and roadblocks up to resist charges in ourselves. The ego would rather keep us in a state of uncertainty or even solitude to stop us from changing things for the better.

To many times we rather stay with the problems and hardships that we already know and experience, rather than changing and pursuing someone better and changing for the greater, even something that could bring our dreams to reality read my blog, Make your dreams a reality.

The ego will resist this change because it fears greater hurt and more problems. Your ego would rather stay with it current problems that is knows than subject you to a potential different problems that may be worse.

for myself I have had to overcome many challenges in my life, including a near death experience. I always knew, and grasped onto the hand of the Lord for I always knew that The Lord would provide

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Overcoming the ego is a difficult thing. It takes a lot of work and great pains at times. It often is something that we have to do, pains we have to face, if we want to change our lives for the better. Your ego will fight you every step of the way.

Take a step back and picture your life as you want it, is it the same as you have it now? Do you have the time to do the things you want to do? How would you change it would you like to begin to make your dreams come true?

Often this starts by changing ourselves, but our egos will try to stop us. This is where a life coach comes in we can give you the support needed to get past the ego and begin the journey to a fulfilling life. Go to Your fulfilled life, and sign up for some sessions.

I’ll make a special side deal with you, sign up for either my life coaching, career coaching or relationship coaching, package plan, and as my gift to you, I will throw in a free half hour session.

lets start your journey to fulfilled life

Remember, as scripture states, I (the Lord) have not given you the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind

if you go to my website, you will als see I have Christian life coaching available, please check it out

thank you