I have been looking for you my whole life, a true story of searching, love, breakup and pain.
I have been blogging, writing things on Facebook and for a time now. Some of what I write can be a little intense and deep, many may find it boring. LOL There is another side to my writing, I can get very personal about myself. These are the few times that I’m completely open about myself and my life. Matter of fact, the editor of my book, the Lord will provide, said was the best thing about my book, how open and honest I was. Now you will gain another glimpse, a love story of short that began in a park at a church outing in the early 1970’s. Sadly, to say though, as many of the Love story movies from the 70’s, it does not end well I guess they, as this is, truer to life than the romance movies that we find in the theater and television today.
I guess, before I get into the story, I should give you a bit of background information on me, to put things into perspective I’m very spiritual, passionate, a romantic. I tend to overthink things, like many, I’m idealistic, and have had the tendency to worry about what others will think about what I say or do. I’m also very loyal and a bit naive.
The first point that I made about myself is that I’m very spiritual. I have a strong Christian foundation and belief in God! I’m sure that many of my friends on Facebook will attest to that. I can get overzealous on religious posts, lol.
I guess, I should get into the story. As I said, it did not end well, basically because of lack of closure. This ending of the relationship and lack of closure devastated me! Maybe that is one reason I’m writing this; I find solace in writing. Just as I did after my divorce and the loss of my business and home. That Is when I wrote my book, The Lord will Provide.
To, the best of my recollection, it was August of 1971. I was 6 years old, I think, that was a long time ago, I could have been a year or two older. I’m confident on the year, it was the second Sunday in August. I was at a park in Union Grove, Wisconsin, for a church service a picnic. It was attended by the members of my denomination from Wisconsin, Illinois and Iowa. At these gatherings we would begin the day with a huge church service, attended by a few hundred people.
After service we would go to the picnic grounds and families would get together for dinner. After dinner the parents would sit around the picnic tables and talk and the kids would run around the part, playing on the swings, slides and such until later in the day they would have organized games for the kids. It was always a great time that we all looked forward to.
On this day something special happened to me. In those days, unlike today, the kids would run around all day, outside of the watchful eyes of their parents, plus our group were the only ones in the park, as kids we would just have fun. It was a great time and many lifelong friendships were forged that last well into adulthood and beyond. There were kids everywhere, there had to be close to 100 or more of all ages just having fun.
At the far end of the park, there was this huge rocket slide. We would climb a ladder to get into the rocket, then there was a stairway, choked with children. We would climb the stiars and about halfway up there was a slide that would lake you back down to the ground. Or you could continue up the stairs to reach the top of the rocket.
It was on that afternoon in 1971, I remember it so vividly, that I met her, for the first time. I’m not sure where my friends were at the time, but I decided to play on the rocket, I climbed the ladder and went up the stairs and just above the slide, there she was. Our eyes met and we introduced ourselves and I felt an instant connection, a connection that I had not felt with anyone before, I was only 6, or since! I knew in an instant that there was something special about her. She was and remains the most amazing person that I have ever met. I do not know if she felt the same, I talked to her about it decades later, but she said that she does not remember us ever meeting back then.
We just talked to each other there in the rocket and played on the slide together. Then we went over to one of the swing sets and another slide and played together some more. For how long, I do not know, but then it was time to go home. We said goodbye and left with our families.
We used to have these church picnics three times a year, one in June, one in July and one in August. The next June, when we went to this picnic, I looked for her, I spend a lot of time just walking around looking for her, wanting to see her once again. It was all in vein, so I though. I did not realize who she was until March of 2018, but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Though I spent time wandering around looking for her, looked for her as I played in the park and such, I did not know that I did see her from time to time. A couple of times in the Sunday school games, I even played with her, her brother and sister an cousins one time. I had been drawn to her all these times, but I did not make the connection that she was the same person whom I had met years before. I guess, I knew in the back of my mind that she was the one, but the time was not right, or I was to chicken to say anything. I looked for her at these gatherings until a few years ago.
There is more to this, other meetings, in a sense, but I have not spoken to her about this, maybe I will if I get the opportunity, until then I must think about if I’m going to say anything about it. Though these other events are important to us, I can continue with the rest of the story without them.
I guess, it is important though, it does add more context to the story maybe I will, I should think about it. You will have to check out my next post, I will think about it. It gets a little deep, let me know in the comments if I should open up about this or not.
if you have questions on relationships, check out your fulfilled life