What is Love? What is true Love? Does anyone even know anymore?
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.” ― Bob Marley https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/love
I was up early this Saturday morning and as I took my dog on a 3-mile walk, I pondered what to write for my next blog. I came up with one thought when idea, wasn't quite sure though, exactly what and how to write it. What arrived home one of those reality TV shows was on about finding your true love in life from a select group of chosen women or men. The thought occurred to me, is that any way to find love in one’s life? Is that the right way to find your perfect match and soul mate?
We live in such a fickle society today, moods, opinions, people who want to our lives change, it seems like a daily basis. If something doesn't go exactly where we want it people into exactly what we want them to do just blow them off. Then we go out and find something or someone else.
It is said that we have become a throw away society. We purchase something, many times of low quality, because we do not want to make the sacrifice to pay for or wait for something of high quality. Then when it stops working, doesn’t do what we want it to do, we simply throw it away and get something else, many times of the same low quality. At times we will suffer through using it, even though it does not work as planned because we do not want to spend the time to get something else.
This “throw away” mentality, has moved beyond the things we purchase and use. It has become a major influence in our personal lives and relationships. Look at the high divorce rates, that is if people even decide to get married. Many just go from one hook up to another. They find someone to have sex with, to spend time with, that is cute or handsome, stay with them for a while, then leave and get someone else. Everything has become so superficial today. They do not want to get married, because they are not sure if it will work out or maybe they will find someone better. There are those who did decide to marry, but things did not work out, there was no real love there and the marriage fell apart. For some this happens multiple times. They choose the same low-quality product, just because they do not want to wait or spend the emotional currency to get the right one.
Many thought that they were in Love, they had some attraction to someone else, maybe they thought that they could be a good provider, or they were just so “hot” that they could not resist. The thing is what they had was not based on true love, on both sides of the equation. They just thought that they could make it work, because that is what they wanted. Or maybe their partner was just good in Bed.
That brings up another point, to many today equate sexual intercourse with love! Or just sexual attraction in general. Some call “having sex” “making love”. Sex and love are two different things. Yes, if you truly love someone you will want to have sexual intercourse with them, and it is fantastic. On the other hand, though, just because you have sex with them, and all these fantastic feelings and emotions rise does not mean that there is any kind of love between the two of you. Like wise just because someone is sexually attracted to another individual, does not mean that they love them or will ever love them. It has been said that sex and love release the same chemicals in the brain that effect the same pleasure sections. So I can understand how it can be confusing to someone where they equate sex to love. On the same note thought, so does Heroin, and other narcotics as well as nicotine and other legal drugs, but we do not equate these to love.
Sex serves two purposes, one, for making babies and the other, the manifestation of love between to individuals, where the two move as and become one. Oh, and it feels good also.
I’m not saying that marriage that is not based on true love will not last, many do. I know of a few marriages where the two individuals live together, raised families together but live two separate, independent lives. At times they just tolerate each other. This is not true love, it is more like companionship.
For those who follow and read my blog you know that I always start with a quote from someone based on the blogs subject. I was surfing the net, looking for the right quote and this one from Bob Marley just struck me, it was perfect, a perfect description of Love. Maybe it also struck me, because that was what I was searching regarding love and a partner in life. It is an elusive thing, to find such a love and romance. I have searched for the type of love the Bob Marley described, it eluded me for years, but last year I finally found it, with someone that I had known almost my entire life. It is wonderful.
It is said that a man’s best friend is his dog, and this I understand also. As I write these few words my dog, Matilda is laying on the floor next to me. I took a glance down at her and as she looked up, I swear I could see an intense love in her eyes. I do not know if Dogs can feel complex emotions such as love, but it sure looks that way. She is fiercely loyal to me, she wants to be with me all the time. She gives me these loving glances and I can tell her anything. It sure sounds like love to me, I wonder is Bob would agree.
To find love, one must first love themselves and come to terms with themselves, and who and what they are. Once they have developed that love for themselves then they have a basis to love someone else. In loving someone else they must be willing to give completely of themselves to another. To love someone more than they love themselves, and not to hold anything back. This is a two-way street, as I found out, and each one must be willing to give to the other completely.
I have found that true love is more than an attraction, it is more of a magnetism that draws the two individuals together. It is a force that cannot be stopped an eternal longing to be with the other. Love is not formed in the mind, but in the heart. It is not something that can be turned on and off with the flip of a switch. I have been asked and told by many, regarding my last romance, “why do you still want her, she has not spoken to you in months, she is doesn’t love you, why do you love her”? Love is love, I cannot control how my heart feels, what it is drawn to.
Love is not based on outward appearance, it is not based on reciprocation, from another, it is just what it is Love. Once you find it , you cannot let it go.
Love has been described as an intense friendship, the ultimate trust in another individual. This is true. With true love there is a bond so strong that it cannot be broken. The two must become one, if they do not true love will not exist.
Have you found true love in your life or is that something that still eludes you. Maybe you have met that right person and you are just not ready yet. Maybe you still need to work on yourself for that true love to manifest itself in your life. As I said for it to come about, we need to be ready, be able to love ourselves before we can really love another. Then be willing to give that love away to the other so we can receive their love in return.
Yes, true love is elusive, so elusive that many do not even believe or accept that it exists. Some, when they find it, this thing that is so intense, so different than anything else that they have experienced in their lives, become scared and run away. They will do anything that they can to remove this other person from their lives, because when this true love is found, the hearts of each one will open wide for the other to see. When the hearts are open in such a way, each one will see a reflection of themselves and their own flaws and weaknesses.
Once you find true love, you will realize that there is nothing like it. If you are not scared off and do not push away, but rather embrace it, the love will be forever, and you will want nothing else or no one else in your life. You will never feel anything close to this will anyone else ever again. There is only one, in this vast world in which you will have this, you may even have known them for years, I know I did, or they may be someone that you will soon meet. Just keep your eyes open, keep your heart open do not miss out on your one true love.
When you find them, you will realize that nothing else matters, you will truly give up anything to be with them, to share the rest of your lives with them. Family does not matter, distance does not matter, jobs do not matter, all that matters is the one that you love. You will be willing to sacrifice all you have for them, even your own life just to be with them.
In todays world, many call this foolishness, a dream, stupidity, that is because they do not know or are unwilling to sacrifice of themselves for someone else. These people are captivated by the old 3D thinking of Love and romance, not a more spiritual, Godly thinking of Love and romance. They love themselves too much, will not give of themselves to that point of potentially losing everything that they have or have known for something greater, more wonderful than anything that they have known or will ever know ever again.
The bible even speaks about this, in a parable the Lord Jesus spoke of someone who found a Dimond of great value and sold all he had so he could purchase it. The same goes for true love, we must be willing to give of all we have to gain the embrace and share our life with our one true love. The two, must become one flesh, and leave all else behind.
At times people have hang-ups from the past that interferes with what they want in the future and their future success with finding and keeping that right individual. If you find this right one and they find you and there is a spark of true love, this is something that the other will pick up on and know and they will run from you until you are ready to give to them. When you are ready to leave your past and bad ideas that have been built up over time behind.
All of this can be identified and worked on thought life coaching. Until you decide to work on these problems and make the had choices and change your life, you will remain in the same state of failed romances, or relationships with the wrong, low quality individuals. In the state of a disposable unfulfilling relationship, rather than one that lasts and is the relationship that you have always dreamed of, the relationship that you read about in romance novels, that you see in cheesy romance movies.
You can find and keep true love, all it takes is a little work and change. Contact me today and sign up for a life coaching session and lets change your life, from the one you have now to a fulfilled one that you have always dreamed about.