Who are you? Where are you going? What are you going to become?
Updated: Mar 6, 2019
I began a journey of self discovery over the past few months, in an attempt to figure out who I am, what I am. As of late, as part of this journey, I have worked to discover and remove the old baggage, the junk, that has built up over the years. I guess you can say, I’m trying to find myself.
Usually, when we hear the term that someone is trying to find themselves, they are people in their teen years, breaking out of life with their parents, and beginning their own life’s journey. I guess it can sound odd for a man in his 50’s saying that he wants to find himself.
We all were born with a base nature and personality, basically we were a blank slate, and much of who we are was shaped firstly by our parents and family, later by our friends but much by own personal life’s journey. With many, we keep growing and evolving with each new life experience and as we become influenced by more and more things.
I know for myself, I have gone through so many reincarnations of who I am over the years and decades that I feel I have lost myself and who I really am. Beyond the usual changes that take place as we learn, grow and experience new things, I have had to recreate myself after multiple personal tragedies not to mention suffering brain injury in a car accident in the 80’s. I won’t go into all of that here, but you can read about it in my book The Lord will provide.
Humans are versatile creatures, with high functioning brains. This gives us the ability to act different in a variety of different situations. This is how someone can act one way, be one person in a work environment, act a different way among friends and different again around family. Now add to that social media where many put on an entirely different image of themselves, maybe different on every social media platform where they are subscribers. Then to add to this there are some with multiple accounts on the same social media platform and the portray a different image on each account. You can see how layer and layers can build up and one can begin to lose who they are.
Our beliefs and needs are the strongest factors that govern our behavior. Ultimately, it all comes down to beliefs because a need is also a belief- a belief that we lack something. When we're born, our brains aren't fully developed yet and we're ready to collect information from our environment and form beliefs based on that information.
If you've carefully observed a child grow then you know what I’m talking about. A child absorbs information from its environment so fast and at such a high rate that by age 6, thousands of beliefs are already formed in its mind- beliefs that will help the kid interact with the world.
The core beliefs- the crux of our personality
The beliefs we form in our childhood and early teens form our core beliefs. They are the strongest factors that influence our personality. But that does not mean that we are stuck with them. They are hard to change but not impossible. The beliefs that we form later on in life are comparatively less rigid and can be changed without much effort.
We also carry around baggage, junk, that has built up over the years. This junk, like junk laying around your house does, can clutter and clog things up. Sometimes we just need a good spring cleaning, to clean all the old stuff out and make things look like new again, so everything can run smoothly.
What is this “junk” that builds up in our brains, in our psyche, that clogs and clutters things up?
1. Learned behavior One of the biggest, and hard to really recognize or better said, hard to admit to, and even harder yo get rid of, is learned behavior that may have served us well in the past, but now is a detriment to us.
prior knowledge influences our decisions when we encounter a new situation," Dragoi said. "This explains in part why different individuals form different representations and respond differently when faced with the same situation."
2. Past hurts. In the physical world we learn through our mistakes, like a child touches a hot stove and burns themselves, they learn not to do that again. Our psyche learns in much the same way. We can do something as a child or even as a young adult and we come under some teasing or ridicule, we learn not to do that again. The problem comes in that it there are many factors why we came under the ridicule, not always because of what we did. The ridicule could be from something completely different or just a meaningless joke.
Many us us have lived through very traumatic experiences in our life. These experiences leave marks, scares, damages on our psyche. They will cause us to enter a repetitive pattern in our life, things starting to come together, then they blow apart. Just repeating joy and hurt.
To study the processes by which past behavior influences future behavior, participants were led to believe that without being aware of it, they had expressed either support for or opposition to the institution of comprehensive exams. Judgment and response time data suggested that participants’ perceptions of their past behavior often influenced their decisions to repeat the behavior. This influence was partly the result of cognitive activity that influenced participants’ cognitions about specific behavioral consequences and the attitude they based on these cognitions. More generally, however, feedback about past behavior had a direct effect on participants’ attitudes and ultimate behavioral decisions that was independent of the outcome-specific cognitions. Results are discussed in terms of their implications for biased scanning of memory, dissonance reduction, self-perception, and the use of behavior as a heuristic.
Take a look at yourself, a deep examination and find out why this keeps happening. Sure your ego will say it’s everyone else’s fault. Don’t listen to your ego, it’s not your friend right now. Look at yourself, make changes in yourself bring out that inner child, The Who you were before all the trauma, and let the inner child grow and mature within you once again.
3. Past relationships this is a big one, especially when it comes to trying to build a new long term relationship after another just ended. We can become obsessed with the pains that we went though in our prior relationships and continually relive or refer to in our new one. I know I’m guilty of this, when I first met my exwife, I continually spoke of the nasty relationship I had gotten out of a few months before, not a good thing.
"Our own perceptions of other people cloud our view of the relationship," Jennifer B. Rhodes, licensed psychologist, tells Bustle. "Previous hurt and pain either from our family or other relationships is the biggest reason why people develop negative mindsets around relationships in general. We all need to do our healing work and get to a place where we can see our behavior and our partner’s behavior in a positive light."
4. What we saw others do or heard them say. If we want to admit to it or not, those around us have a huge influence on how we think or what we do. If you are talking to some one with a negative outlook then we have a tendency to be more negative, if on the other hand some one is more positive then we may become more positive. As a step further, in a social or work/business situation, if we meet someone new, but prior, others have told us negative comments about this person, when we meet this person we will already have a negative perception of them. This will happen if it is true or not, and this negative perception will negatively influence how we treat this other person, and can damage any relationship with them. This perception can continue on, even in the face of evidence to the contrary and it could take years, if ever for this negative perception to change.
When we begin to clear out all of the old junk in our brains, our psyche, we can begin to think clearer. We are no longer hindered by our old misguided ways of thinking. We get rid of that which has outlived its usefulness and has become a hindrance to our continued growth and happiness. We begin to see thing, others and mostly ourselves from a new, more positive perspective. We are no longer held captive by our ego.
Reincarnation, is actually what we do, not in the usual way that it is taught or what we think it is. Per conventional teaching reincarnation is where we live through multiple life times on our journey to spiritual fulfillment and enlightenment. in the traditional aching of reincarnation, a person is born, lives a life, dies, then is born again, lives another life as someone else and dies again. This goes on over and over until one reaches the spiritual enlightenment.
That reincarnation, I don’t believe in, we all have one physical life upon this earth. I do believe in life after death, but that life is a spiritual one not a natural one. We are on a journey to spiritual enlightenment or spiritual perfection.
What we can and do is recreate or reincarnate ourselves in this life. As we grow and mature we change our personality and thinking in this one life. As I have mentioned at times we need to discard some of the old baggage that is holding us down from continuing this spiritual journey through our human existence. We change and grow into a new creature, a new creation, as we grow and mature.
With this in mind, I would say I began my last reincarnation or step in my own, personal, spiritual, journey in June of 2018, June 10 to be exact. I know the date, because that is when the greatest relationship of my life ended. On that day I suffered great emotional and spiritual death and it ended the life that had begun after my last tragic day in Aug of 2010.
I have lived a few life times like this I will not go through them here but they, or some are in my book The Lord will Provide.
Actually this one was different than the others All the other ones that I had gone through in the past, I took the pieces of what was shattered in my life, mixed with what I had learned and formed something new. The problem is that I had always hung onto to pain from the past. That pain that I hung onto always in the past became a detriment to me in the new life that was being created.
In each successive reincarnation I had reached a point in my spiritual growth, then it all came crashing down for one reason or another. Many times it was because of myself and what I had hung onto from the past. The one in June 2018, was the worst. I has started off earlier in the year, as being more of my true self, and that is what brought us together, but as the relationship progressed, my ego, my past problems rode their ugly heads once again and it all blew up. This is a prime example of how holding onto the past destroys our future and future happiness.
The amazing thing is with this last one for me, it was so traumatic for me, it hit me so hard, and it woke me up. It made me realize that I had to look deeper into myself and discover why? By doing so I was able to cleanse myself of my past, of all the pain that I had held onto for so many years and decades. I am now once again growing as a new person, a new individual with all that crap from the past removed and it feels great.
With my last incarnation, the past disappeared, everything that I held onto for so long was gone and with that a huge part of who I was, and what I had become was gone as well. I had to continue my journey into the self realization that I had begun, so I could actually discover who I really was without all this other junk clogging up my psyche.
Who was I?
Before I was someone that I really did not like much, now things are different. We need to learn to love ourselves.
Who are you?
This is a question that you need to ask yourself.
Where am I going, what am I going to become?
I think I know, but in reality I have begun a new step on life's journey as a new person with a bright future filled with hopes and dreams.
How about you?
Where are you going, what do you want to become, how do you want to live and continue this amazing journey we call life.
In my last incarnation I discovered my hidden talent for writing. In this one a life coach and a blogger.
What is next I don’t know, I’m actually still on my journey of recreation and discover. Maybe, a future blog or book I’ll let you know more of what went into this incarnation, the story is still being written.
The journey of self discovery can be a long, difficult and painful process. This is especially true if you try to take it on by yourself. If you decide to begin your journey of self discovery one of the first things that you will have to be ready for and overcome is your own ego. Your ego will continually fight change and throw things up to sideline, derail and stop any change in yourself.
This is where the value of a life coach. As a life coach we will not tell you what you need to change, that is all up to you we will help you in the process of changing and give you the support to master the change. It may cost a little money but it is far better than the alternative of trial and error, stepping forward and back and the excessive emotional pain as you fight against yourself to create within you a better person with a more fulfilled life. check out my website and sign up for a session today.
I will give you a special deal, no strings attached. Sign up and follow my blog and go and sign up on my website Your fulfilled life coach, and message me, and I can give you a free introductory mini session to begin your journey to a fulfilled life.
So who who are you?
why are you the way you are, please explain.
Is being who you are help you, hinder you at times or is it netrual.
so what is holding you back from your dreams
just what would you you like to do?
what would you like to change about yourself
what is your joy
what is your power
what is your freedom
who are you in your heart
who are you what do you want to do in your life
what is your balance
how do you become complete
Take a few minutes, think about the answers to those questions Then sign up for the blog and the website and message me through the website and I will give you a free. 15-30 minute coaching session
Simply be you. You don’t need to carry the burdens of the world. You can understand the problems but don’t carry them around. Be yourself not someone else or what others think you, or want you to be. Get rid of putting on a false image to please others. Be yourself, always be yourself, but first you need to find out who you truly are.
Don’t get stuck in your own fears worries dramas. Be yourself
You can find yourself in helping others. We all want to feel that we made a difference in the world and helping others is the best way to make a difference, maybe not for the whole world at once, but for the individual find someone, be there for someone and you will find yourself. Remember your nonfriend the Ego? it will say focus on yourself, not on anyone else. Get rid of those thoughts, be a blessing to others that is what we were meant to do, that is who we all are deep inside. People helping people, no matter who they who or what their background is, show love and kindness, give them a hand. We were all created and born in love, and let that love shine forth to all you come in contact with