• Kevin Luke

You want to change things for the better, change yourself first.

Updated: Apr 4, 2019

I wanted to change the world, but I have found that the only thing one can be sure of changing is themselves - Aldous Huxley

Everyone thinks of #changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. - Leo Tolstoy.

Change has become a very near and dear topic to me. I have gone though some immense upheavals and changes to myself and in my life, as I have touched upon in previous #blogs. Change is never fun, it is hard, something that no one likes to do. It can also be very painful to go though, but it is one of those things that we just must do, in order to move forward in our lives.

The quotes at the beginning of the blog say that we should change ourselves rather than trying to change the world. I think that everyone, especially when in our youth dream of changing the world. Making the world a better place or having some sort major effect on it or on society in one way or another. Maybe inventing something that has a changing effect such as windows, the first home computers, the first video games, or social media companies have had to name a few. Maybe some strive to become great leaders and what to be an effect of change in that way. How about great leaders, Like Abraham Lincoln or George Washington.

Some may dream of becoming a great scientist, such as Isaak Newton or Albert Einstein. Then do as they did through their research change the way that we look at and understand the world. There are many more that I could list.

I know that I had these dreams, about how I was going to accomplish all these great things and help people live better lives. With myself, as with most, these dreams become lost in every day life. For many people, as it was with me, life, society and the world change us, we do not change it.

We often are told or hear, that we should not let others, society or the world around us change who we are. The sad thing is, we do let those around us, our experiences and the ups and downs of life, change us. No matter how much we think we do not Change according to the whims of those around us, our friends or society in general. We can often think that we are fighting against Changing who we are, what we do or how we think, in the end though, they do change us. They change us, because we let them! Yes, we let them, no matter how much we think or say different, we let them.

At times we want them to so we can get what we want, or avoid trouble and pain, and many other things. We allow this change. We can become too focused on other things that we do not see this change happening to us and we end up doing things, living a life that we never thought that we would, not in a good way, even in our wildest dreams, or better said nightmares.

Even if your life is good, and comfortable. You may have a nice home, a well-paying job, a spouse of significant other in your life, children and a cat or dog or both, the American dream, be honest. Is your life what you dreamed it would be, are you doing those things that you wanted and dreamed about years ago.

We can also look at the other end of the spectrum, those that do not have all those things. Those that are going though problems and difficulties in their life. Those that are alone, maybe homeless, dealing with addiction or whatever else, is that the life that they dreamed that they would be living?

I know my life is not what I dreamed it would be!

I think that all of us have something in common, if we are truly honest with ourselves.


Do you think that the drug addict who runs around looking to feed their addiction dreamed of living that way. Do you think that the ass hole business leader who steals from his employees dreamed that he would do that when he was young? How about the sales person whose ethics are rather shaky, or how about you, are you who you thought that you were or would be?

#Life changes us, not always for the good, many times for the bad. Then after those changes that life lures us into making, it comes back and says no, no, no, you cannot be that way or do those things. Then we come under the consequences of our actions.

1. Lost homes.

2. Lost families.

3. Lost jobs.

4. Lost relationships.

5. Lost dreams.

6. Lost health.

7. Lost freedom.

8. Lost lives.

When this happens, hopefully before it happens, is when we must realize that it is time to make the hard choices in life, make the difficult changes. The changes that life lured us into so easy, long term, and so subtle that we never knew that they were happening, until we began to wake up and saw that we were not where we thought, that we were not who we thought we were. Those dreams of changing the word, they are nothing more than a distant memory. We are then stuck in a humdrum existence, not who we want to be, doing the thinks that we want to do and not living the life that we want to live.


It is not to late, if you want a more fulfilled life, better relationships, and better work or work environment. Or just a more fulfilled life in general you need to make changes. It will not be easy, but they are necessary.

I have had to make these changes, I began by reflecting on who I thought or once thought I was. I looked at my many hopes and dreams and how they had been thrown unto the junk heap of life. I looked back on my many mistakes, lost loves and relationships. I finally decided to listen to what some had been telling me for years, including my ex-wife, and what that last person that I was romantically involved with said, and I decided to listen and take it to heart and honestly look at myself. I did not like what I saw. I did not like what I had become. I worked in a job, many jobs that I hated, I was not me, I do not know who I was, I just know that I was not me.

I then decided to finally change. It was a slow cumbersome process, at times very painful, but not as painful as it was living with who and what, I had become and how I acted. I had to start thinking on a higher level, a purer level of who I really was; who I really wanted and dreamed I would be. Then slowly the changes began to take place. One by one, I would take two steps forward then fall back a little then forward again. Nonetheless, I was moving forward, changing getting better, healing and building a more fulfilled life.

The amazing thing is, as I began to change, the world around me began to change also. How I viewed the world began to change. I was no longer dragged down by the problems of life and ways of those around me. I was changing, becoming a new person, my own person not being tied down by life, by the world around me. I started to become me once again!

My dreams once again became reignited. My hope and joy increased. In all of this I found ways to make a difference, to change the #world, maybe not the whole thing but little parts of it one piece at a time.

I found that life is more than trudging from home, to work and to home again, there is a great vast new world out there, something more, something greater. I had begun to find my voice once again. I’m working to be of service to others and not just my own vein ambitions. There is not anything greater in the world than to be of service to others, it is magnificent.

I’m beginning to live my life the way that I want, how I want and hopefully soon with who I want. I’m now able to get up in the morning and rather than running around to get to a job that I disliked and trudging through the day. I get up in the morning and start the day by taking my dog for a 4 mile walk then sitting down, enjoying my coffee and beginning work doing what I like, my passion. My dreams are beginning to come true. The blessings of the Lord are falling upon me because I’m finally following where he had been trying to lead me all these years.

It took a great deal of pain to finally get me to begin making the changes, it took additional pain to begin to make the changes and I’m sure that I have more pain to come, for there are more that I need to make. In the end though it is all worth the pain and sorrow.


1. Are you ready to change?

2. Ready to leave the past in the past?

3. Ready to break free of the bond’s life has used to strapped you down?

4. Are you ready for a fulfilled life?

Then the first step is entering your email to subscribe to my blog, and maybe take few moments to review previous posts. Then go to my website and sign up for a life #coach session or two or three, I have many options available, and I will even give you a free mini session once you sign up.