• Kevin Luke

Your Really Stressing me out, I cannot take this anymore

Updated: Mar 23, 2019

“I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.” ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

Stress, stress and more stress

Stress is something I know a lot about I've gone through many periods in my life of stress and anxiety.

1. What causes stress?

2. How can we or how should we deal with stress?

3. How does stress affect our lives and how we view the world around us?

Stress can be a very dangerous thing. It causes all kinds of health problems, and it weakens are immune system. I know that stress increases cholesterol in one's body and puts especially the heart under intense pressure and it can lead to heart attacks and death.

"Stress doesn't only make us feel awful emotionally," says Jay Winner, MD, author of Take the Stress Out of Your Life and director of the Stress Management Program for Sansum Clinic in Santa Barbara, Calif. "It can also exacerbate just about any health condition you can think of."
Studies have found many health problems related to stress. Stress seems to worsen or increase the risk of conditions like obesity, heart disease, Alzheimer's disease, diabetes, depression, gastrointestinal problems, and asthma.

10 Health Problems Related to Stress web MD

Another levels stress can harm personal relationships, marriages, and family life in general.

I have talked about stress and some of the factors that cause stress in previous blog posts, but I wanted to go deeper on the subject at this point, for it is a problem that many, many, many have in today's world. I know this is true especially in the United States. It seems like in today's world that more and more are being expected of people in each one has less and less time.

Is this true? Or is this just a perception that we have?

Are more things being expected of us today then what they were 20, 40, 50 years ago? Is life that much harder now than what it was in the past. Has our life changed, have those around us changed, are people wanting us to do more things for them, or is it that we have just changed.

In the United States, we live in a nice, cushy society today. Most have food on the table, a roof over their head, and a warm, dry bed to sleep in at night. Most have jobs that they go to, many in nice offices, and they sit at a computer and make phone calls, go to the occasional meeting. Even much of the factory work is relatively easy and safe, when compared to decades past.

Yet, life is so stressful for them. Their boss is watching them and expects them to get things done. Clients will not do what they want them to do. The elevator is broken, and they must walk the stairs to the second floor, it’s the end of the world for some. How can the company allow the elevator to break down now I will have to expend a little energy before I go to my desk and sit all day. Life is so stressful, I just cannot take this anymore! That Elevator has been broken for three hours why don’t they have it fixed yet!

1. Our boss expects us to do things.

2. Things break down.

3. People will not do what we expect them to do.

4. We cannot do everything that we want, when we want!

That last one is the key. We become stressed today because we cannot always get our own way, or at least that is one of the causes of stress. Think about this list, I’m sure that more can be added, but why are we so stressed? Because we cannot sit on social media and our smart phone all day and we are expected to get some work done for the pay we receive. The machines that are there that make our life easier, that do much of the laborious work that people would have to do in the past, break down from time to time. Other people have their own set of needs that they decide what they want or do not want, which is different that our needs and what we want them to do to satisfy ourselves.

Much of our stress today is because we want things that we cannot have. We want to do things that we cannot do. We want others to do things for us or do what we want them to do. This is the basis, basically self-centeredness, and from this arise many other problems which lead to more stress.

I know, back when I was a commercial real estate broker, I would work to sell or lease industrial properties. Of course, problems would arise in many of the transactions, it could be very stressful. Why was it though?

1. Was it stressful because a building did not pass inspection?

2. Was it stressful, because an offer was not accepted?

3. Was it stressful because an attorney was being unreasonable

4. Was it stressful because a buyer or seller change their mind?

No, it wasn’t!

This is what I thought at the time, or at least when problems arose. I looked at the external, blamed others for my problems. They did not do what I wanted or what I needed them to do. I would spend hour over hour stressing over the situation. Night after night worrying if this transaction would ever be completed and trying to figure out ways to fix the problems, to change minds to so we could complete the deal.

Why was this causing me so much stress? For the answer to this question, we need to look a little deeper. I’m positive this is not only true for me but for many, in one form or another.

I was stressed because I wanted something or maybe I was a over extended financially. I wanted to take my wife and family on a vacation, or I wanted a new car or had to pay an exorbitant mortgage on my home. I was stressed because I did not plan properly or save up the money that I would need when I had it but pushed everything off to the future. To the next deal the next big check. Then it became everyone’s else’s fault for my stress, not my own, for I could not blame myself for my problems, it had to be someone else’s fault. If they would just do what I wanted them to do, then all my problems would be solved. I could make the mortgage payment, I could take my family on a dream vacation, I could get a new car.

It was everyone’s fault but my own.

We think this way because we are human. We always want to blame others for our problems, it could not be our fault. Even going back to the time of Adam and Eve, in the garden of Eden, when the bible tells us the first sin was committed that set this whole process in motion. Adam blamed Eve for seducing him into sin by giving him the forbidden fruit, Eve blamed the serpent for telling her to eat of it. They all ended up cursed, talk about a stressful situation. Thrown out of their home, having to toil and labor for food and survival, and a painful child birth, to name some of the cursed God bestowed on Adam and Eve. It doesn’t say so but I’m sure Adam got an earful from Eve for placing the blame on her.

What was the cause of all this stress experienced by Adam and Eve? It is the same issue I mentioned, they wanted something, they thought they deserved something. They wanted to be like God. They wanted to do their own things when they wanted and not have God telling them what to and what not to do. Granted, there was not much that they had to do and there was only one thing that they were told not to do, and that was eat from the forbidden fruit. This was even too much for them.

Notice how similar that sound to us today in our modern world? Again, we see the more things change the more they remain the same.

There have been many times that I have heard the term, “your stressing me out” or “you are giving me panic attacks”. Using this term is nothing more than placing the blame for our problems on someone or something else, so we do not have to deal with the problems or issues within ourselves. Stress is an internal problem, not an external one. We are the cause of our own stress, not anyone or anything else. Our first step in alleviating stress is coming to the realization that we are the cause of our own stress and problems and not to place blame on others.

In life the sooner we begin accepting and dealing with our own shortcomings the better our life will become. The better our relationships will be, the better family life will be, and the more fulfilling our existence upon the earth.

I hear many say how they want and need to reduce stress in their life, well this is the first step in the process, to a better healthier you. A good way to begin this is to hire a life coach to guide and support you on your path to a better more fulfilled you. To grow in acceptance of who you are, and what you have done in your life. I have gone though this process over the past few months and it has done wonders for me, let me help it to do wonders for you as well. Your Fulfilled Life coaching

Another great way to alleviate stress, it to align your life with who you are. To many are living lives that are not in tune with their, wants desires hopes and dreams. I can help you set and achieve the goals to realign your life, to reset it, to who you are as a person and support you on your journey to make your life one that you have always dreamed of living. Your Fulfilled Life coaching

So many are running around doing things in their life but still feel that they get nothing accomplished. Demands of work and family just do not align into a perfect balance. All too many times work takes precedence and the family suffers, this causes much stress in family life and a disruption in your own life. We can work on this, if it is something drastic life finding a new career path to just a few changes in time management. This is all available though life coaching and can change your and your family life for the better. Your Fulfilled Life coaching

Relationships can be difficult, even if you are the perfect match for someone and you both love on another. There will always be problems that arise, our goal should be to reduce these to a minimum. If you are having problems in romantic, family or just looking to connect with that special someone, but it continues to elude you. I can help with that as well. We can talk and do an analysis of you and your life and see why you keep hooking up with the wrong person or the right people run away from you. Go to my website and schedule a session.

We can remove as much stress as possible from your life, it would be good to start working on this sooner rather than later before it causes permeant damage to your life, your family life or your work life. So do not delay we can begin to change your life for the better, to a more fulfilled life. Your Fulfilled Life coaching